How to avoid a divorce

If your marriage has been in a tailspin, you or your spouse might be considering divorce. But it’s never too late to turn your marriage around. 

 

Changing yourself and the nature of your relationship will help you recover a healthy, fulfilling marriage.

Listen to your partner. Open and honest communication is crucial for a good marriage. Listen patiently when your partner comes to you with problems or concerns about your relationship. 

 

Being attentive in conversation will help you understand what makes them unhappy and give you a chance to take action.

Stay positive. Your spouse fell in love with a happy and emotionally balanced person. If you have become exhausted by conflict in the relationship or no longer feel your marriage is salvageable, take a step back. 

 

It’s natural to feel down about conflicts in your relationship, but try to focus on the big picture. When you feel depressed about the state of your relationship, think back on all the good times you’ve had with your spouse. 

Be flexible. Don’t demand that everything be done your way. Marriage is a cooperative partnership. Neither of you will get your way all the time.  

 

If you and your partner have different goals and ideas -- whether its about where to move or where to dine -- hear each other out.

Keep up appearances. While physical attraction is only one part of love, in our visual culture, it plays an important role in how we think about and relate to our partner. 

 

When you go out with your spouse, dress nicely to show that you consider your time together special. Take care of your health, too. 

 

Eat a nutritious, balanced diet with lots of fruit and vegetables. Aim for thirty minutes of exercise  each day. Dressing well and taking care of your appearance will keep your partner attracted to you

Practice healthy communication. Only speak to your partner when you are in a mood and state appropriate to do so. Do not yell at your spouse. 

 

If you feel anger building on your side or your spouse’s, suggest that you both take some time out to cool off and resume the conversation later

Balance your time. Healthy couples should spend time together as well as apart. Catch a movie, play mini-golf, go bowling – whatever it is you both enjoy doing, do it together. 

 

Try new things and have adventures that you can bond over. But when you need some alone time to recharge, let your partner know. 

 

You and your partner are not clones, and won’t be interested in all the same activities. Give each other space to pursue the hobbies and interests you each enjoy.

Stay loyal to your spouse. It might seem tempting to have a brief fling or an extended affair with someone who gives you the attention and affection that your spouse won’t. 

 

 But remember, your spouse, not your fling, is your family. Violating the bond of marriage can propel you toward divorce and leave you feeling guilty.

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